waiting...

miss kate-

as i sit at the computer and type, you and your dad are running around 'the loop'-
your happy shrieks and laughter fill our home.
and i'm choking back tears.
ugh, pregnancy hormones.

we spent the whole day together and i've kissed you and held you [uncomfortably] on my lap as much as you would allow.
i feel silly for being so emotional about my impending induction tonight.
i'm full of nerves and excitement and worry.
everyone assures me it's normal to stress about adding a new kid to the family.
everyone says we'll adjust quickly and soon i'll never remember what it was like to just have one little one to love.
i hope it's all true.

aunt BB asked me tonight what i'm most worried about.
baby E's health, you, the pain and a 4th degree tear were my answers [in order of importance].
i'm sure everything will be just fine and i'll look back and laugh at how worried i was.
but until it's all over and done, i'm just going choke back the tears and hold you extra tight.

i love you little one.

love,
mama.

****update: my induction has been put on hold until there is a room and a nurse available in L&D. [apparently everyone else's body knows how to go into labor on it's own]. it's possible i will be 'on call' all night and may not get in until morning. nana has been dispatched to chili's for chocolate molten lava cake****

.