you've become quite attach to certain items that are a bit strange.
for instance, you happen to adore your hairbrush.
you even cuddle in bed with it.
every friday you have show-and-tell at school.
normally you take a toy or a book to share and discuss.
today you took your hairbrush.
you don't like wearing shorts.
every day you proclaim 'i want to wear a dress or a skirt'.
fine by me sister, it's a vast improvement from the naked phase and the underwear-only phase.
you talk to evelyn in the highest, squeekiest voice imaginable
[and she loves it. big ole gummy grin every time].
'hi sweetie! did you wake up?' is the phrase we hear you constantly saying to her.
obviously you're watching and listening all we do and playing it back on repeat.
[guess it's time to stop using all those cuss words...]
this phase you're in is one of my favorites.
you've adjusted to having a sister and as long as i'm careful about dividing my time fairly,
you're typically a sweetheart.
most days you're cracking me up with your funny observations and silly questions.
i would like to request that the universe slows down time [just for a bit] so i can properly soak up your childlike wonder.
i love seeing the world through your eyes, it makes me feel like a kid again.
i spent last night working the triage desk. this allows me some time to sit and reflect [when i'm not checking people in for the flu [i mean, really people?? vomiting for 6 hours does not require an ER visit. sheez.] i really enjoy the break triaging gives me. i still get to educate and help people but i'm not caught up in the hustle and bustle of carrying a team of 6 patients. and there's nothing quite like an empty waiting room. it's a thing of beauty.
while i stared at the rows of empty chairs, i thought about how good life has been to me lately... or maybe i've finally learned to be a little more like a willow tree and less like an oak- bending with the wind, instead of resisting it. i'm not one to question the good fortunes of the universe so i'll just shut up and be content that my girls are rad, my husband is kind and that my soul is calm.
in summary: life is good. i eat way too much sugar. and instagram still rocks.
morning walks with the girlies.... and afternoon tea parties.
a blankie on ev's face will calm her down if she's fussy [and it makes the RN inside me cringe but hey, it works]..... and just another 'mild' yuma day. crazy weatherman.
swim lessons for our little fish start monday- the goal is to be floatie-free [maybe that's a bit ambitious but you never know until you try... or drown]
baby smiles.... and a chocolate cake all for me since jank's on a diet [ahem, 'lifestyle change'. he's already lost inches from his waist. go janky!]
evie has perfected the kick and scoot technique and it's only a matter of time until she's too active for the swing [noooooooooo!].... and aden and anais burp clothes/bibs are amazing. especially when you have a kid that urps up 56,932 times a day.
friday lunch date at ah-so sushi and steak. sushi is gross unto me so my meal was a bit boring.... but i fixed that with a gigantic ice cream concoction involving cake batter ice cream, brownies, sprinkles and hot fudge. love our day-dates.
ps. thanks mom for encouraging me all these years to be more willow-like. sorry it took me 29 years to figure out that you know what you're talking about. and sorry for all those times i rolled my eyes at you when i was a bratty kid.
pps. and i know everyone is thinking it... that cake DOES look like a boob.
you hit the 4 month milestone a few days ago [i just had to look at my calendar widget to confirm the date, man am i out of it today] so let's recap what you're up to:
::you still like to be swaddled when you sleep. but only if you're in your crib. the swaddle doesn't exist outside the 4 walls of your white baby prison [because that's really what cribs are, right?] we're trying to transition away from swaddling... you're getting too strong for your halo sleep sack and keep busting out of the velcro. it's very hulk-like. [did i just compare my sweet babe to an angry green mutant???]
:: you sleep 12 hours and wake in the morning perfectly content to lay in your crib sucking your hands and babbling to yourself. i love laying in bed and listening to your coo's and oooh's and aaaah's.
::i have mucho mom guilt about your naps. it seems that your naps fall at extremely inopportune times [mostly when kate needs to go to or be picked up from school]. i'm always having to interrupt those precious naps and it makes me cringe every time i do it. you don't seem to mind though. you always wake up with a big ole gummy grin and that soothes some of my guilt.
::i pumped for the last time this morning. i just don't have anything left for you. sorry kiddo. i'm bummed about it too. you adjusted to bottle feeding without any problem and guzzle 8 oz every 3 hours. pretty sure you're going to be one chunky girl before too long. can't say i mind. i love me a chunky baby.
:: and one of my favorite things about you is that you're not bothered by who's holding you. your sister was super particular about being held by me or your dad [annooooooying]. i love that i can pass you off to others when i need a moment sans baby. your grandma's and aunties are going to be thrilled about this fact when we go visit them in july.
love your smooshy cheeks and your beautiful blue eyes.
last night i peeked in on you when i got home from my extra shift at 2:00 am.
you were laying horizontal in your big bed- sprawled out and breathing deeply.
your bed was full of toys-
your big snow white doll,
your ariel that swims in the pool with you,
the 4 books i read to you before i left for work,
and a bucket full of small toys [princesses, macdo toys, a tiger and a race car]
i stood in your doorway for awhile letting your sweet presence calm me.
i was still amped up from work.
i had just spent 4 hours trying my best to fix an unfixable problem-
too many sick people; not enough nurses, beds or doctors.
the feelings of frustration and ineffectiveness that are my constant companions at work melted away.
and as your fan whirled overhead, i tucked you back under your covers,
kissed your forehead and quietly closed your door.
thanks for being there for me last night.
i needed you.
[or i guess i should call it later today since it's already 0100]
i'm going to plead with you that you treat me kindly.
please allow me a nap before my shift so i can make up for the sleep i'm currently and stupidly depriving my body of.
but you see, it goes like this....
i can't seem to get anything done these days.
i'd rather be swimming with kate and forcing her to turn somersaults under the water,
or snuggling my sweet babe who cannot possibly be almost four months old already?!?!
i haven't been carving out much time for the bloggity-blog.
and that's great and all.... until i forget everything [because inevitably i will forget everything if it's not documented. [i asked jank the other day 'have we given talks yet in this new ward?'. he looked at me like i was craaaaazy. i took that as my answer in the affirmative. but now i'm curious as to what i spoke on? and did i talk for 30 minutes like i always do?? ugh brain, you suck]]
so here goes another epically long update.
and what's absolutely nutso is there sooo much more to come.
these pics are solely my iphone/instagram pics [follow me:: username jancers]
don't even get me started as to what's hiding on my canon's memory card.
we still eat way too much macdo's. especially when kate requests 'chicken, fren fries and a toy!' how does one say no to that?.... and evelyn still has majorly kissable cheeks. we like to squish them hourly.
this is the 'mom get that camera outta ma face and feed me' look. she gives it to me a lot.... and one day i made panda bear cupcakes with kate [so easy! thanks pinterest!]. it made kate's day and relieved some of my mommy guilt over working so much.
when yuma's hot and we're bored of the pool [doesn't happen often] we head to petsmart to spend an hour playing with the animals. it's better than the zoo.... and sometimes kate requests i swaddle her like baby e and put her in the crib. and i comply. but wouldn't you? too stinking cute.
i take waaaay too many pictures of us in the mirror..... and i'm still in love with how kate's curtains turned out. it took me 2 days and an emotional breakdown to get those stripes perfect and it was worth it. [perfectionist tendencies and lack of sleep- can you say bad combination?!?]
my daily breakfast. i've never felt so good but i sure miss my nutella eggo's..... and some snuggles on the couch while sucking that blasted finger. we've promised her a trip to the san diego zoo if she would please, please, please stop sucking it unless she's sleeping. and then i told her that if she persisted with the finger-sucking, her teeth would fall out and she wouldn't be able to talk or eat food. [should i prepare my mother-of-the-year acceptance speech now or later??]
hanging out pool-side. it's how we spend our days. and it's pretty rad.
jank and i only have 3 nights a week that we're home together due to work/church going-ons and the majority of those nights i'm ridiculously hung over from my night shift. so we cram a friday lunch date in while kate's at school. ev's allowed to tag along as long as she smiles at us and doesn't erupt spit-up on jank's work clothes..... and i've given up the princess dress battle. wear it to the store, i don't care anymore! but that crown might be a bit much.
yuma's weather is on the up and up. 113 today...... and kate has a daily ritual of playing her fishy game which means i'm forced to squish my adult sized bum onto toddler sized chairs and play with her for what seems like forever. and i wouldn't have it any other way.
jank's lunch breaks are 2 hours long. he likes to sneak in a siesta when he can.... and more swimming. because what else do you do when it's 100+ degrees?
nursing hasn't been going all that great for us. i just don't make enough milk so we're now supplementing with formula. evie gets about half of her feedings from me and the other half is good ole similac. i'm at peace with this situation- it's nice to not have her crying in hunger after feedings.... and this was jank's dinner the other night. someone called him chunky at work and he didn't take kindly to that. he's started running and watching his calories and i've started buying less macdo's.
and props to those who survived the longwindedness that is so typical of my posts.