our morning routine

 

girlies:

someday you'll ask me,

'what was life like when we were younger?'

and i'll respond,

'i don't remember. i had alzheimers when i was 27. who are you people? and why are you calling me mom??'  

so in answer to your future question, this is what the first 2 hours of our day looks like.

october 2012

sometime between 0600 and 0630:

kate, you wake up and come walking into our bedroom [with all three blankies in tow] and promptly state,

'i want to watch doctor'.

well, good morning sweetie. nice to see you too.

and since your dad is at the gym getting all lean and sexy for me;

i roll out of bed, stumble to the fridge and retrieve a sippy cup of whole milk for you.

meanwhile, you're on the couch fluffing pillows and blankies and making everything just so.

you thank me for the milk and ask for your favorite doc mcstuffins episode [which changes daily].

then i kiss your head and stumble back to bed [because this mama is far from a morning person].

i try to go back to sleep but it's usually not possible so i spend the next 20-30 minutes instagramming [so addicted it's not funny] and pinteresting [again, addicted. it's becoming a problem].

lately i've been reading the ensign or the scriptures on my phone which really helps set a calm tone for the day.

i love being inspired to be a better person.

evelyn, at some point you wake up and kick, coo and babble for awhile.

i lay in my bed, all snuggled in, listening to your baby noises and think,

'that kid is rad'

you eventually start to fuss and i go get you, change your bum, tickle you until you giggle and then make you a bottle which you won't drink [your anti-bottle right now. you're only interested in solid food]

next comes breakfast for all.

typically cold cereal or eggos [because i believe in only all natural, organic, healthy food]

evelyn you get oatmeal with some prune juice mixed in [see? it's always about the poops around here]

and then dad comes home for the gym and kate says,

'ewwww, you're all sweaty. gross. go shower.'

dad showers and we keep playing.

if it's a school day we get ready for school.

sometimes we make the beds, sometimes we don't.

kate, you almost always let me dress you. 

you haven't developed a desire to be picky about your clothes yet.

as long as it's a dress or a skirt, you're happy.

then there's your hair to be wrangled into some sort of crazy ponytail,

teeth to be brushed and shoes to be put on.

next thing i know, i'm kissing you goodbye and telling you to listen to your teachers.

out the door you go in a whirlwind [because dad takes you to school before work and he's always late]

evie, at that point you and i look at each other and think 'what now? it's soooo quiet!'

and then we play, clean, read and generally lounge about for an hour before it's nap time for you.

and that's what we do almost every day.

unless it's monday or thursday [our non-school days]

those days we stay in our jammies for a ridiculous amount of time or spend the morning running errands about town before it reaches 105 degrees [no joke. october 3rd, one hundred and five degrees. no thanks]

it's a simple life right now.

it's a good life right now.

you girlies are gems.

[of course this routine goes out the window when i've worked a night shift. at that point i walk around like a zombie while brandon is super dad. and then my blessed friend shows up to pick up evie and i get to sleep.

 ah, night shift. how i love and loathe thee.]

warning: i'm going to talk about poop.

to that corner of my brain that is completely occupied by my kids' bowel functions:

someday that small part of my brain will not be consumed with thoughts like:
'did katers poop today?'
'did evie poop? what was the consistency?' [this matters when it's time for ev to eat and a decision has to be made between pears and bananas]
'did kate drink her poop juice today?' [aka metamucil but isn't the term poop juice just so much more appetizing??]

it's ridiculous how much time i spend thinking about my kids and their bowels.
please tell me i'm not alone.
i can't wait for the day when i can release this responsibility and worry to my kids.
imagine all the life problems i could solve with that brain space now free.
for example, i could finally decide between the light gray and dark gray corduroys that are sitting on my bedroom floor.
what a day that will be!

it finally happened

well it finally happened little one.
you're the proud owner of a tiny tooth.
it appeared a few days ago without much fanfare [thank you kindly for that]
some fussing, a decreased appetite and lots of drool marked the big event.

7.5 months old.
i won't lie... i was starting to get a little worried.
do they even have baby dentures???


we love you little darling.
thanks for all the giggles.
and thanks for that spot on your neck that is deliciously soft and chunky- it's my favorite to nuzzle.

school is cool

katers: 

school has been really good for you. 

you get to make awesome projects, play on the playground, eat good food and learn so much more than i could ever teach you. 

some days i'm a little taken aback at the things you know. 

see example below: 

ff




gosh kid, you're cool.

love your guts.


[sorry if the video quality is bad, youtube is not being my friend today]

a new way of being

about 3 weeks ago i threw in the towel.
i gave up the fight between my happiness and my pride.
i let happiness win.
and i started taking an anti-depressant.

i really wanted to beat this myself without relying on a medication.
i wanted to will it away, work it away, shop it away, ignore it away.
i was being stubborn and i was losing precious moments with my family.
so the day came when i finally swallowed my ridiculous pride and told jank it was time.
he was so relieved i had finally reached a place where i would accept help.

and our life hasn't been the same since.


i'm not saying that the pill i'm taking is a miracle drug.
i truly think a part of my feeling better is attributed to some placebo effect.
but i also can't deny the peace i feel in my soul.
i haven't felt like this in so very long.
it's like coming home after being away for a long time.

i feel like me again.
and it feels good.


i don't cry when a patient yells at me because the wait time was too long.
i smile more and my laughs aren't forced.
i fall asleep excited to wake up in the morning and spend time with my girls.
i can't get enough of my husband.

i still have ups and downs like everyone else.
some days are great [i finally finished decorating evie's room]
while others are rotten [evie and i had the flu for a few days, and oh boy was it bad!]
but underneath everything there is a permeating positivity that i've lacked.


hi. my name's kayla and i'm medicated.
it's nice to meet you.

another photo overload.

folks:

this is the last round of 'beach pics'.

it's a little bit of an overload, but i figured the grandmas certainly won't mind :)

so if you're not our grandma [and therefore not obligated to think my kids are the cutest/most awesomest/most kissable] please feel free to scroll on through and think to yourself:

'geez, kayla. put down that camera already!'

but for grandma and nana:

these are for you.

love and miss you both.