it's always nice to have a friend around.

dear hess'-

so glad you decided to move to yuma.
it sure makes life much more enjoyable when we have some good friends around.
not to mention how good it is for kate to have play dates with your little man.
i still laugh every time i hear her boss him around-
she sure likes to be in control of him.
the hand-holding is all her idea [she's getting a little cheeky isn't she?]

ps. this is how jank and i 'play' with the kids when it's 100 degrees at 10 am.

we sit in the shade, force the kids to drink water and i take pictures of us.

aren't we the greatest babysitters ever?

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who guessed it was a boy?

you would be wrong. it's a little girl in there.

21 weeks and still craving mashed potatoes

baby jancer-

hey there little girl.
hope you're doing well.
according to your ultrasound you're doing great and growing big and strong.

thanks for being so cooperative on monday-
although we should probably discuss how to sit like a lady at some point.
that was quite a show you gave us.

your dad and i weren't surprised when the doctor confirmed your gender.
somehow we just knew you would be a little girl.
and we couldn't be happier with the news.

you are so much squirmier than your big sis.
two nights ago i couldn't sleep so i got out the laptop and laid in bed watching my shows on hulu while i felt you kick and dance inside me.
it was pretty dang awesome.

your dad and i keep wondering if your squirminess is indicative of your energy level?
will you be our wild child?
will you be the one that requires us to lock all the cupboards and secure the tv?
[like we should've already done but didn't really need to so we didn't]

i keep checking my temperature at work because i'm convinced i'm running a fever all the time.
you've got me cooking little one.
pregnancy combined with yuma's heat has me wishing for snow.
maybe we could dial back the internal furnace sometime soon?

lastly, could you give us some hints on what to name you?
we are clueless.
your dad suggested agnes the other night. or was it alma?
i can't remember [you've stripped me of brain cells rather quickly]
i punched him and requested he not present any names to me unless he is quite serious about them.


loving you more each day baby girl.

love,
your mama


ps. who has a girl name they want to share with me so i can steal it???

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too tired to title this post anything interesting.

someone is becoming quite the stubborn little girl.

sometimes it's irritating.
sometimes it's funny.

sitting down in the middle of a grocery store to read a disney coloring book= funny.
kate not getting up when i asked her to and me having to haul her out while she cried for her book= irritating [but also kind of hilarious. at least in hindsight]


ps. fever only lasted one day. we're going to attribute it to teething and not question the universe's kindness.
[thank you universe!]


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not doing so great.

miss kate-

today you're running a fever of 101.
your patience is minimal and your tantrums are enormous.
you haven't slept well in days despite our best efforts [benadryl. lots of benadryl]

this morning you demanded milk, milk, some more milk and snow white-
i happily obliged.
you drank 4 sippys and crashed on the couch.
i hope you sleep for hours and wake up perfectly happy and healthy.

i'm hoping this is just another bout of teething.
i don't even want to think about it being something worse because that means you can't go to daycare.
and that means i won't sleep these next three days in between my shifts.
and that means i will die.
this is me being selfish for a moment.
please get better. and quickly.

also, i love you and hate seeing you sad.
hang in there little one.
this too shall pass.


.

sometimes all you need is a moment to pause and reflect. i need to remember this.

i just woke up and i'm still a little tired so bear with me if this doesn't make sense.

last night was the first shift where i didn't feel like i had made the worst decision of my life.

going back to work full-time in an unorganized, crowded and vintage [by which i really mean gheeeettttooo!] ER has not been the most awesome thing i have ever done.

i miss my coworkers.

i miss knowing the ins and outs of a workplace.

oh how i hate being new.

but then last night happened.

and i got to save a life.

and hold the hand of a very scared patient and offer words of comfort.

and it felt so good.

i think the shift was such a good one because i read something inspiring before i went to work 

[which let's be honest i never do. usually i'm running late and forgetting my snacks.... i require a lot of snacks. a ridiculous amount actually]

i was preparing my talk for sunday [ugh. ugh. ugh]

and i happened upon a sentence that was meant for soul.

and i cried.

happy tears.

it was as if someone took a great ball of heat and comfort and love and shoved it into my heart.
and that feeling has stayed with me since [along with some annoyingly persistent heartburn]


and that's all i have for words today.
i have to go work on what i'm going to say on sunday when i have to address a crowd about 'focus and priorities'.
let's be honest, i have neither focus nor priorities nor speaking skills.
should be a good time.


ps. the weather is changing down here in ole mexicano. the humidity is waning and the temps were under 100 [they were 99. but still] for the last few days. hallelujah for fall!


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my mother was never opposed to sugary cereal. i thank her for that.

kate-

tonight you learned two very important things:

1. cereal for dinner is completely acceptable when you're tired from a busy day of school, swimming and singing along to the veggie tales movie.

2. how to properly slurp the leftover milk after all the cereal is gone- the best part of eating cereal in my humble opinion.


so glad i'm taking the time to teach you these life skills.
someday you'll thank me.


ps. super proud of you for choosing cheerios over golden crisp [that also means there's more sugary goodness for me to chow down on during the survivor season premiere. so thanks little one]

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