slightly obsessed

daybreak,

i have been enjoying your walking trails, model homes and lake these past few weeks.

the weather has been great so kate and i have hit the trails.

that totally sounds like i'm out with a jogging stroller ripping up the off-road.

nope, just the opposite thanks.

paved sidewalks at a leisurely pace.

kate eats cheerios.

i pick out which houses i want.

it's a win-win.

anyway, thanks for being so bright and colorful.

and for the cool dock covered in bird poo.

(it may have only taken me 2 min to think of what the

wooden structure known as a dock is called....

we're post-night shift people. i'm allowed to be dumb)

water baby

nana and papa-

you leave tomorrow in the morn. tear. ok, big tears. i love when you're here.
my life seems full again. and you bring presents- new toys and music and quiet books for church. awesomeness.


more importantly you bring the fun.
i don't remember the last time i saw kate smile so much.


remember tonight when you nana were pushing kate and liz around bb's house in the rolling chair?


or when kate actually reached for you papa because she wanted more airplane rides?


or when we all went to the zoo and kate didn't care about the animals but LOVED when we found a dripping pipe to put her under? pretty sure the other zoo-goers thought i was torturing my child until they saw her smile.

(kicking and laughing weren't captured in this pic, but they did occur)

please don't leave. pretty please?

snuggle in

dear blankies in kater's crib (all 4 of you):

you do a great job. you keep my lil one happy and comfy. she loves to dive-bomb out of

our arms and into the crib, just to get to you. it also may have something to do with her

binki since she only gets it while she sleeps... but we'll ignore that part right now. let's talk

about how much she loves you.

exhibit a: a picture

(the 4th blanket is hiding under miss kate)

exhibit b: a short story

kate willingly gives up playtime so she can snuggle with you. at least that's what happened tonight after her bath- she crawled into her room and sat next to her crib whining until big jank put her in. then she played for 30 min with you. rolling around, covering her head and babbling happily. and then she tucked you under her and fell asleep.

you really are terrific. glad we have all 4 of you.

almost 30

t- george:

happy birthday to my favorite brother-in-law.

this might be one of my favorite pictures of you.

probably because we are in mn.

and on a boat.

and it's summer

and it reminds me of when we first brought you two crazy guys home

to meet my mom (you met dad previously in utah...can't remember why he was here...)

remember how fun that was to meet the family?!?

was that the year uncle doug had the bird flu from a spider bite?

(i can't keep all the crazy stories straight anymore)

and mom and dad put us all to work doing yardwork

(maybe next time we go back to visit the fam no one will be hospitalized or incarcerated)

not for me

to all those who wake early and sit at a desk:

don't know how you do it. seriously.

nurses are meant to be running around- starting iv's, giving meds, saving lives.

or changing adult diapers, washing poopy clothes and applying 4-point restraints.

same difference really. at least that's what i tell myself.

we are not meant to sit at a desk. even if the topic of discussion is trauma nursing; it still doesn't provide enough stimulation. we fall asleep, play with our phones, have rude side conversations about our favorite ER experiences and do everything possible to survive until break time.

then we eat chocolate donuts and have a sugar crash.

counterproductive.

kim sleeping, kurt internetting, ryan actually paying attention and me taking covert pics with my beloved boredom-sparing iphone

morning sun

to the makers of precut and packaged apples:

kate recently became a fan of you-

it took her awhile to appreciate the taste.

she likes to munch on a slice as she crawls around making messes.

she also likes to sit on the balcony in the morning, reading books with a slice in each hand.

it only takes her about 30 min to eat one slice.

(she takes great care in sucking the juice out and then eating it)

but that's 30 min during which she doesn't make her new sound-

the dreaded whine.

thank you oh so very much

you might just save my sanity

to be like you

Pompi-

today is father's day as i'm sure you are well aware.

hopefully you got a candy bar at church like jank did.

i have a rotten memory (maybe something i inherited from grandma D?) i usually don't remember things unless there exists a photo or video that i can use to jog the memory. but every so often i remember things with great clarity. these remembrances are generally not big events. heaven knows i would give my right arm to remember my actual wedding ceremony. geez, i'd even settle for remembering my wedding date without jank having to remind me.

but i have one very distinct memory of us from my teen years.

we were driving up a hill in the bonneville SSEI and i asked you-

"how did you become so successful?"

you replied "i work hard and always pay my tithing"

i sat for a minute thinking.

i thought for sure you were just trying to convince me that giving 10% of my income to the church was a good thing. then i realized that you weren't just saying things for my benefit. it was your honest answer. and i bet if i asked you the same question tomorrow, your answer would be very similar.

because that's just who you are.

you work harder than most and have more integrity than i could ever dare dream for.

you don't speed, lie or cheat.

you make sure people feel understood and appreciated.

you are kind and loving.

and i am so very very very lucky to be able to call you dad.

so here's to you mr haskins. thanks for all the patience, love, support, sternness (i need it sometimes), advice and everything else you give me.

i love you

some photos to help me remember what you look like- ha ha

ouch

dearest black patent leather dansko's

why oh why didn't i put you on at the start of the shift???

oh yeah, i remember.... we got our butts kicked.

i walked in the door and was greeted by chaos.

and it didn't stop until 3:00 am.

too many patients, too many doctors ordering every test imaginable.

sigh

i never got the chance to put you on and now i deeply regret it

our life advisor

mr. red,

some people pay a lot of money to have a life coach.

we have you.

and we don't pay you.

sorry.

thank you for all you do for us.

we love your guts. we also need to see those guts more.

well, maybe not the guts.... we'll settle for your face.

hope you had fun grilling pineapple for your birthday.

me blonde, jank fat, you squished, lex normal- all of us enjoying a sunny ferry ride in seattle

simplicity

futures mommies,

a small piece of advice:

save the boxes your munchin's toys come in. at least the big ones.

one day you will be sitting with your kid and you will be thinking-

"what do we do now???"

you've already been on a walk,

chased them all over the house growling like a lion,

tried to teach them how to wave,

played peak-a-boo in the shower curtain,

wrestled on the bed and the couch,

sang a trillion non-sensical songs....

and now you're out of ideas and energy.

so then you bust out the box. and it's magical.

here's hoping your lil one plays quietly for an hour like mine did.

i really do love my job.... promise!

dear yellow cake,

you fixed me. how i love you yellow cake.

today was post-night shift day. the day i dread more than any other in the week.

turns out, i really don't handle lack of sleep well (kinda helps explain why i went crazy after i had kate). and today was no exception... i got home from work an hour earlier than planned and decided against my better judgement to crawl into bed for a nap.

so so so dumb of me.

when the alarm clock known as katers went off an hour later, around 6:30, my immediate reaction was tears and a pillow punch. pathetic, i am well aware. but i wasn't in control of my own body. lack of sleep made me crazy. and unfortunately i stayed crazy until BB came and took katers to her house.

and then i slept for 3 hours. which helped tremendously but didn't cure me. the sobbing in the bathroom while kate stared at me like i was nutso didn't cure me either. nor did the mcdonald's. and the really really stupid movie "when in rome" only made the day worse.

basically the day was a waste.

finally at 10 pm i decided i needed some cake and promptly set about making you. and VOILA!!!! instant healing. i didn't even take the time to frost you, just pulled you out of the oven and started shoveling.

i now feel sick to my stomach but i don't feel crazy anymore. balance has been restored to my emotions.

who knew you, mr yellow cake, could be so powerful??

my perspective

this is what i see:

kate learned to turn around in the cart- she shakes the back of the seat and screeches. i think she looks like a mini santa driving a red sleigh

i do the saturday house cleaning and kate pulls her books out and "reads" them to herself

i drive to brigham and they sleep

girls night out

dear ashton kutcher,

thanks for being so good looking.

and thanks for wearing great clothes in the movie.

and for driving a sweet car in southern france.

and for being funny.

but mostly thanks for being good looking.

lullaby

rocking chair in the nursery-

most of the day you sit unused. i apologize for that. it must suck to rarely be needed.

kate doesn't require rocking to fall asleep so the only time you see any action is when we read stories to kate.

and sitting still with a 13 month old lasts for about 15 seconds.

(2 months ago)

but occasionally miss kate has trouble in the night. to be honest, i pray for those troubles.

not that i don't want her to sleep well, but i want to see her, smell her and hold her again.

so i relish those cries in the night.

i scoop her up and bring her to you. we rock her back to sleep. it only takes about 60 seconds and she's out, but we rock for much longer. sometimes a tear leaks out of my mommy eye. what?! i can't get emotional about my beautiful, healthy, safe baby? geez.

kate will squirm after a few minutes and i know she wants to be back in her crib where she can snuggle into a corner and bury her head in her blankie. i oblige her and you are left all alone in the corner to await the next troubled night.

thanks for the kind service. hopefully i'll see you soon.

keys

EMS crew of Engine 117:


i knew that calling 911 at some point in my life was inevitable. the odds of me dialing those horrifying 3 digits increased greatly when i became a mom. i just wish i had made it longer than 13 months...


kate wakes up from her morning nap happy and hungry. lunch is had and we head out the door to run some errands. i buckle katers into her seat and set about putting up the baby shades in the back 2 windows to protect her from the sun's rays. kate starts to whine for her keys (i have 2 sets- one with important keys and one with misc keys for her to play with) i give kate her set. she is not satisfied, she wants my keys. i give them to her and then go back to work, forgetting she has them. i finish what i am doing, close the door and walk around to the driver's door. locked.
i shake my head in confusion and reach for my keys in my pocket. not there. that's when it hits.

i just locked my baby in the car with the keys and my phone.
oh crapper of all craps!!

luckily i had used my automatic car starter to turn on the engine and get the AC running so the car is cooling off. but the timer is set to 12 minutes and then it shuts off- trapping my baby inside without the windows cracked in 80 degree heat. i try to think how long it'll be before it reaches a dangerously high temperature inside. i start to feel the panic. i refuse to cry. i have to think.

i hurriedly approach a neighbor, asking for their cell. brandon doesn't answer the 4 calls i make- it's our code. 3 calls means "i really need to talk" but 4 means "pick up the phone no matter what". only he doesn't have reception in his classroom. and no one else has an extra set of keys.

and then i hear it- silence. the car has turned off. no more AC.

after knocking a few doors to see if anyone has a phone book to call a locksmith (no answers- everyone is at work). the neighbor who's phone i have suggests the police department. duh! they can help...right?? not so much. apparently there is an imbecile who works at the police department- he tells me my address isn't in the city of taylorsville and therefore he can't help me. whatever idiot....i hang up on him and dial 911. it's not more than 4 minutes later when you guys show up. in a fire engine and an ambulance- both with the lights flashing. i'm embarrassed but so very relieved.



it takes you a few minutes to pop the lock but you work quickly and confidently. you are very calm and kind. you tell me repeatedly how cute my trapped daughter is and that everything will be ok. kate just sits there, strapped in her seat, watching you guys work. still playing with the keys and smiling.

check out how happy kate is to be out of the car

i'm so glad that you came promptly and saved my kid from my stupidity.
you guys were so great.

thank you. thank you. thank you.

kate was covered in sweat when we pulled her out. i tried to get her to drink some cold water but she didn't want any. so i just opened up the fridge and let her play for a bit. she deserved it- look at those flushed cheeks. poor thing.

cake batter ice cream w/ brownies.... we earned it today

picnic

katers,

church day.

you despise church day.

it goofs up your naps and meals. you are not allowed to crawl around freely. and it's 3 hours long. it's enough to topple an adult, let alone a 13 month old.

after a quick apres-church nap, we took off for the quarterly seelos/jones/other-people-i-don't-know-the-names-of get together. it was nice being outside and the food was good. at least i think it was...you ate all my food. seriously, ALL of it. and you didn't want to share with me. thanks little one.

and somehow you ended up being nominated to be in the family skit coming up in july. they want you to be held by someone other than your dad or i. for an extended period of time.

snort, snort, laugh, laugh. that's not gonna happen. you can barely handle sitting on your grandma and grandpa's lap. it's going to be awesome to watch. we'll make sure to videotape the torture.

but you did have a good time sitting on your blanket in the grass. it's wonderful that you hate the feel of the grass so you don't dare leave the blanket. it's like a pack and play without walls. marvelous.

cousin brysaac read you a story... until he got bored. then he ran over to the steps, climbed up, spread his arms and yelled "this is my city". you just stared. i don't think you know what to think about him just yet but trust me, you're gonna love him.

birthday wishes/froggy jammies

brysaac:

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY!!!

(YESTERDAY)

you got a new bike and a new helmet. how cool is that?!

when we called to wish you a happy birthday you actually said,

"thanks for calling me"

what 4 yr old says stuff like that?!

other favorite brysaac sayings include:

"I AM THE SKY"- yelled loudly atop a swing-set. sometimes jank has been heard yelling that throughout the house. it always makes me laugh.

"i won't know"- something you started saying when you were still learning how to talk and it's stuck. we say it all the time. pretty sure it's annoying to others but so funny to us.

"no, no Red!" mr scootchies was teasing you something awful the day this phrase came to be

and my favorite: "i've told you a million times" exclaimed in exasperation in a rather adult tone.

we love you mr brysaac. have fun with the new bike!

***********

kevin:

HAPPY 53RD BIRTHDAY. i meant 35th. HAPPY 35TH BIRTHDAY!!!

hope your day was filled with lazy goodness. and yummy food- because that's important.

thanks for loving me. and for teasing me. you make it easy to be a part of the hansen clan.

i'm so proud of all that you've done. i think you're brave, smart and handsome (and thanks for passing those traits on to your son!!) and i love you lots.

(kevin at hardware ranch: camping and loving the outdoors)

**********

and what kind of mommy blogger would i be if i didn't post some pics of my incredibly cute child??

kate:

you have been a joy lately.

ever since the flu trauma you have been more smiley and much more giggly.

you are usually a content child; you don't mind playing by yourself. but lately you have been much more interactive.

you engage us in games of hide and seek.

you love to find the toys we hide in the couch.

you have ticklish spots (your ribs) which i attack constantly.

you love when we chase you down the hall.

you especially love when we throw pillows at you.

you love our phones. it's so cute when you pick them up, press them to your ear and say "hi"

you love playing on the balcony and looking out the window:




your babbles echo in the parking lot. i'm sure our neighbors LOVE it.

purple and white

brock colton:

you did it.

you graduated high school.

no more homework or teachers.... at least for a little while.

we are so proud of you. you worked hard.

it was so fun to see you walk across that stage and get your diploma. (even if it was just a blank piece of paper)

i don't know if you heard us screaming... ashley and i outdid ourselves with enthusiasm. brandon had to move katers so we wouldn't blow her eardrums. and you should've seen brysaac! oh man was he excited for you. that kid loves your guts! we told him he could scream as loud as he could when they called your name. and he did. it was awesome.

so congrats. we love you and we hope you are proud of yourself.

b+k+k

ps thanks for the excuse to go out to eat... cafe sabor was grand as always.

memorial day

uncle marv and aunt d'on,

thanks again for a wonderful summer holiday. i don't know when the tradition started of us crashing your family pool parties but we're sure glad the tradition exists.

it so nice to feel a part of your family. especially since you always have such yummy food. that yogurt/fruit creamy concoction was awesome- kate loved it a little too much. i think she ate mine and brandon's! and we should pause for a moment to remember the homemade ice cream.. yummmmmmm
i'm pretty sure i ate almost all of the almond m&m's. oopsies. i'll bring a big bag to share next time.

you guys are the best....thanks for the lovely day.


(marv & d'on dancing at the wedding lalapalooza 5 years ago)