you have been a joy lately.
i don't think i've ever been so enamored with you.
we play silly games and you laugh.
we watch movies and you snuggle with me.
you copy just about everything i do.
playing on our bed is one of your favorite things to do
you're learning so quickly it's startling.
i want time to slow so i can enjoy this phase.
(and i don't think i've ever said that before)
a coworker once told me that it took her 18 months to 'fall in like' with her son.
and i remember thinking-
'that sounds strange, but i bet that's how it'll be for me'
some moms are blessed with the ability to love and like their kids immediately.
i wasn't one of them.
i loved you with all the love in the world from the very beginning,
but i didn't enjoy the baby phase as much as most new moms.
you were fussy and needed constant attention and i didn't know what i was doing or trying to do.
you and i struggled to find our balance.
it seems we have found that balance now.
you and i have become friends.
i like you and you seem to like me.
every night i say to your dad,
'i can't wait to see peanut in the morning'
your hiding spot-
we always find random toys under our pillows
kate, i want you to know these things.
i think it's important for you to know my thoughts and feelings.
and someday when you read this and say to me-
'mommie, why didn't you like me?'
i'll cry and say-
'oh peanut butter, i did like you. i just didn't know it yet'
and then we'll eat chocolate cake.
because that's what friends do.