boxes and piles

i'm deeming this last move the most successful one yet.

(and i consider myself a professional since we've moved 4 times in 5.5 years)

we loaded, moved and unloaded in 2 hours.

thanks to all the helpers!

katers loving the chaos

(i had to sneak over to the old apartment to gather some stray items and couldn't resist the temptation to throw you all some blog love. we won't have internet until wednesday at the new place.... UGH!!

see you then!)

silent night, soul-stirring night

welcome mr winter!

ready for the blizzard

i've missed you mr winter.

i've missed your magic of snow falling.

i love how quiet and bright the world is after your snowstorms.

i guess it's kind of like life right now-

we're in the middle of a storm but shortly it will pass.

this time next week we will be moved and unpacked, jank will have completed 

the proposal for his masters project and his surgery rotation will be over.

hallelujah.

he warned me tonight that december will be as bad as november (school wise)

i told him not to worry because i have christmas music to listen to.

that always makes me smile

(i've been listening since halloween- can't help myself)

keep bringing the snow mr winter-

i need the stillness and the beauty.

******

i sit typing this at 1:00 am while my loves sleep.

i keep looking out my office window and marveling at the silent world-

interrupted only briefly by the snow plows clearing the parking lot.

i'm going to miss this place.

this is where i became a mom.

this is where kate learned to walk and talk.

this is where i struggled and conquered.

(and now i'm choked up and need to snuggle my man)

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let the indoor activities begin

Ty-

just wanted to send a quick thank you your way for the fun day last week at discovery gateway!

it was a much needed change in our daily activities.

normally, this is how kate stimulates her brain:

she's a sorter and an organizer and she loves to simply move items from room to room.

it's hilarious to watch.

i was happy to hear that your toddler does it too.

(it's always nice to hear that your kid is normal)

 love that kate found the one elmo book in the whole place. i had to hide it after awhile

kate sorting the garden and working in the construction zone

i was bummed i didn't snap any pictures of the "ball beehive" or whatever it's called.

that was obviously the toddler fav.

pretty sure kate exclaimed "ball, ball, ball" for 30 minutes straight.

so easy to please.

meet krew. kate's future man. dibs!

thank you again for taking us.

it was awesome.

once the move is over (augh) let's get the kiddo's together again.

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no more volunteering for the sick

you know when you are in charge of taking a meal to a sick neighbor and you put extra thought and effort into that meal and you make sure it's perfect and you put the lid on the crockpot and don't worry about it until you check on it 4 hours later and you realize you somehow turned the crockpot off and you have cold chicken, rice and veggies just waiting to make someone sick?


oh you don't know what that's like?

i do.

it sucks.


that neighbor ended up with a pizza for dinner.





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roast, cheesy potatoes, green beans and craziness

 jank-

i owe you a big thank you for making this video happen.
i wasn't planning on filming round 2 of "meet kate" at the dinner table but you two had quite the act going on.
you babbled nonsense, she would babble back.
and so on, and so on, and so on....
it was awesome.
until it was annoying (just kidding, you never annoy me. (yeah right))

i've watched this 4 times already and i'm still laughing.

it's the wolf... it kills me every time.

maybe next time i'll set the camera down so it's not so shaky.

remind me, ok?

enjoy:

episode two

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someday those boys will understand

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saturday afternoon.

one of my favorite things to do is watch kate fall asleep.

i'm kind of addicted to it.

today a coworker who shall remain nameless (jesse) said to me "man, i never want to be a mom!"
i didn't take offense.
in fact, i almost agreed.
at that exact moment he was helping me haul a heavy box into work while i juggled a squirming kate who kept pulling her hat off, a very full bag, a blankie, a stethescope, and the ever important elmo book.
i'm sure i looked all sorts of disorganized which is unfortunate because i actually felt like i had it together.

we were headed into staff meeting and i was more than a little nervous about taking the kiddo to an hour-long meeting about budgets, charting and infectious disease protocols.
lucky for me, two other coworkers brought their babies as well.
and let me tell you those two kids were all the distraction katers needed.
they played, giggled, fake coughed, smacked and ate their way through the meeting.
and kate left her super-cute hat on the entire time so no one saw her nasty sweaty nap scraggly hair.
score!

for dinner we pigged out on chicken and potatoes.
yes, kate ate.
it rocked.
and then we danced to some glee tunes.
her new favorite thing is to bounce and spin in circles until she gets dizzy.
then she purposely crashes into some furniture and falls to the ground in happy hysterics.

before the staff meeting began i had the opportunity to talk with a coworker (not jesse) about families.
he told me he and his wife were thinking of having a baby soon.
i shared with him a small tidbit of mommy wisdom i gleaned from a movie.
"parenthood is awful, awful, awful and then it's awesome. and those awesome moments make everything else worth it"
he just laughed.
i'm sure he thought i was kidding.
but i wasn't.

being a parent is tough.
most of my day is dedicated to the demands of a toddler.
i rarely get to shower without someone clamoring for "BUBBLES!"
i have to sit in time-out with my katers and watch her cry.
i never feel well-rested or accomplished.


but then those awesome moments come (thank heavens they come) and it truly makes it all worth it.



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brown paisley - blue damask - green flowers - purple checks

kate and i ready to surgerize.

and yes, i know that 'surgerize' isn't a word

to my 4 scrub hats-

i heart you all.

you have sat forgotten in my bottom drawer for 18 months now.

oh how i've missed you.

i loved throwing you on when i was having a bad hair day.

when you work in labor and delivery, no one questions your scrub hat.

you might've just come from a c-section so it's socially acceptable to look like you're undergoing chemo.

today katers was playing "remove everything from mom's drawers and throw it everywhere"

it's a really fun game (for her).

amongst the socks and unmentionables were you 4.

i was pleasantly surprised to see you again.

i thought i had thrown you out (thank goodness i didn't!)

i scooped up my favorite and plopped it on kate's head.

she loved it and wore it for an hour (that's forever in toddler years)

then i put one on and looked in the mirror.

and i was overcome with nostalgia....

the last time i was in the OR was my last shift in logan.

i was in charge of a 3rd time mom who was pregnant with twin boys.

she was bound and determined to go natural.

the possible complications to that scenario almost made me soil myself.

most times the first twin is delivered without complication but it's baby #2 that worries us.

if that second baby is breech, a vaginal delivery is not generally attempted and we prep for a stat c-section.

(this is why we make mothers of multiples deliver in the OR)

so the calm room can quickly turn into a scene of organized chaos.

add to that a mom who needs to be sedated and intubated and we have ourselves a complicated mess.

it's so much smoother if the mom already has an epidural in place.

all the anesthesiologist has to do is switch the meds and badda-bing, she's numb and ready for baby #2.

if only it were always so easy--

i remember moving my patient to the OR when she was 7 centimeters dilated.

i didn't trust her to move slowly through the last phase of labor.

i had my crew in place and we were all ready for a calm and wonderful delivery.

my patient quickly dilated and began feeling pressure and wanting to push.

i page the doctor (for the 3rd time to come STAT) and hunkered down at the end of the bed.

i'm freaking out at this point but can't show it because my patient's husband has a video camera zeroed in on my face.

i had delivered babies before, but the thought of delivering preterm twins terrified me.

and oh great, here comes a head!

i tell the patient, 'don't sneeze, laugh, cough until you see the doctor'

she obeys like all patients should and goes to her happy place but the baby's head is still looming closer.

more freaking out.

then the OB comes flying in and barely has time to get her gloves on before baby one comes shooting out.

literally, shooting out.

baby one done, on to baby two.

the OB assesses the patient and calls out 'he's breech'

let's just add some more freaking out shall we?

the OB requests we hold off readying for a c-section.

i turn to clarify her request and see her elbow-deep in the patient.

after a few moments she declares 'i got him' and proceeds to pull the second baby out head first.

um, that's a new one for me- just pulling a baby out. 

but whatever, it worked!

there is a collective sigh of relief from the entire OR.

and then we proceed to clean up like usual (deliveries are amazingly messy)

i remember tearing up once that second baby was born.

i was overcome with relief and happiness.

my patient and i had both gotten what we wanted- a safe and successful delivery with no complications.

i teared up again when i moved my patient to the postpartum floor 

(i was full of pregnancy hormones ok?)

the patient and her husband were overly kind and the patient hugged me tight before i left.

they wished me luck with my own delivery (scheduled induction was a few days later)

and we said goodbye.

i don't remember any of their names but i will never forget that awesome experience.

somedays i miss delivering babies.

ok, that's a lie.

everyday i miss delivering babies.

it's magical and terrifying and wonderful and horrible.

one day i'll return to L&D but for the foreseeable future, my place is in the ER.

hopefully someday i'll be able to split my time between both places.

until that day comes i'll be content reliving past deliveries.

and wearing scrub hats at home.

ps. wonder why katers has been looking happy lately?? we've been practicing smiling. that's right. we have to show our child how to smile. it's ridiculous and hilarious to watch. we really should've video-taped the process.

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haven't you always wondered what diaper cream tastes like?

Nana-

if it's pictures you want, then it's pictures you'll get.

i haven't synced my camera or phone in a few days so here's what i've been hoarding and not sharing:

you know when you're toddler goes into stealth mode she's doing something wrong...

i found her in the bathroom eating desitin cream.

and no i didn't stop her because i wanted some photos first.

love that my kid picks the expensive fruit to love.

she ate half the carton for dinner.

kate's awesome mohawk post-nap.

this must have been a day when she actually slept.

today she fake-napped for 40 minutes.

not cool.

i need at least 90 minutes to recharge for the afternoon.

or "round 2" as i like to call it.

she thinks she's hilarious.

i agree.

"i just need to rest my eyes for a sec" he said at 8 o'clock

he asked me to wake him in 20 minutes.

i didn't and he hasn't stirred since.

(he'll thank me in the morning)

ps. remember when i was just a little tyke and i had that really annoying high, screechy voice? i fear katers inherited it. she LOVES to shriek. pretty sure the downstairs neighbors loathe us. just you wait...... see you in 2 weeks! 

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let the coat and hat wearing begin

readers of this blog:

i have three options of what to write about-

1. i could whine about my no-good, very bad, horrible day that included tantrums that lead to vomit (this is what i want to do)

2. i could pay tribute to the few good things that happened today, like chocolate treats from a friend and happening upon this website (this is what i should do)

3. i could say nothing and leave you with this pic of kate and i leaving the library with a new elmo dvd in tow.

love the death grip on my finger.

and the chubby cheek poking out from under the hat

i choose 3.

and i'm sure you're all thankful.

you've heard enough vomit stories to last a lifetime.

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it's all in the eyes

  
katers:

yesterday you had your 18 month check up with dr. lindgren.

he's awesome.

he got on the floor and played with you.

he even put your blankie on his head and got his hair all messed up just to see you smile.

you weigh 20# and 1 oz. 

we can officially/legally/guilt-free turn your car seat around now.

(let's not tell dr L that it's been turned around for 6.5 months)

you're 32.5 inches tall which makes you tall and tiny.

but we already knew that.

dr L asked if i had any concerns about you.

i told him you don't like food.

he said my job is to buy and prepare the food and your job is to eat it.

and not to worry if you don't.

that's why we like him- he tells us not to worry about the things we can't change.

he always proclaims how much he likes your cautiousness.

this is the real reason we love dr L.

some people act like your caution is a negative thing.

he points out how it is a positive thing.

he makes me feel good about my parenting and about you.

playing at G&G hansen's in september

so it's ok if you don't smile for most people

(although you stole the show at dinner last night- you had us all giggling with your silliness)

it's ok that you don't love nursery yet.

it's ok that it takes you a little bit to warm up to people.

it's what makes you, you.

and we love you despite it and because of it.

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warning: it's a long one

i interrupt this nap time to bring you a jancer family update.

right this very second katers is curled up in the top left corner of her crib (her fav spot) and mr jancer is curled up on the couch. he had to be at the hospital early this morning and is now resting his exhausted body. but at least he's home! one of my favorite sounds in the whole world is the sound of his keys unlocking our door. makes my day.

i should be packing or cleaning or showering. but those things aren't very fun so i'm putting them off because i'd rather write. it's been a few days since i've taken the time to put thoughts to keyboard and i've missed it.

so here comes the update:

kate's had a bad week. 

6 new teeth decided to join the party. 

i know, more teeth??? 

you're sick of hearing about it and you're thinking- doesn't she have 15 too many by now?! 

but nope, she's finally cutting the top molars and all incisors. 

super fun. 

eating and sleeping have been daily struggles. 

and when miss kate suffers, we all suffer. 

i've been rocking her in the night and getting up before the sun and feeding her nothing but milk. 

"mo mil" (more milk, if you don't speak toddler) was uttered a total of 146,783 times on thursday. 

ok, i exaggerate. 

but not really.

but without the bad, we don't appreciate the good. 

isn't that what people say?

so off to the parks we went to enjoy the good.

we visited the ducks and geese at sugarhouse park, which was only slightly terrifying.

they circled and honked and threatened to eat kate's fingers.

i thought kate would be traumatized but it turns out she loves her "doggies"

 isn't that view a-maz-ing?? i love sugarhouse

thankfully, kate seems to have returned to normal.
today she slept until 8:23 am and ate a hearty breakfast.
and because it's the month of thanks, indulge me in one more gratitude-
i'm also thankful that kate didn't turn into martian kate this time around.
it was bad but it wasn't that bad.


jank's been consumed by school this week.
my favorite thing he said: "my resident acts like christina yang"
thank you to the mr for knowing who christina yang is and for acting like she's a real person.
you win my heart.

last night was date night.
that included birthday shoe shopping for jank and dinner at zupas.
i think i died.
i had an ultimate grilled cheese panini which truly was ultimate and the mushroom bisque soup.
the leftovers are in my fridge and as soon as i'm done here, i'm digging in.

bless the drug rep who gifted us "free meals". i love you and this amazing chocolate dessert.

thank you!

that completes the update.

i hope you all enjoy your extra hour of sleep tonight.

don't worry about me, i'll be working 13 hours but only be getting paid for 12 of it.

i think i'll sleep extra long tomorrow to make up for it.

oh how i love sundays!

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november is for jank

hey there birthday boy....


it's ok that i'm a day late because birthdays last all month in the jancer household.
so HAPPY BIRTHMONTH love!!

it's a good thing we get to celebrate all month because nov 1st wasn't such a good day-
you started one of your busiest rotations.
you forgot your surgery shoes and spent all day in your dress shoes.
you only ate one taco for lunch and you had to eat it in 10 seconds.
you only got to see peanut for 30 minutes.


at least you got to play with other people's boobs yesterday.
maybe that makes up for all the bad things???
i sure hope so.

love you.
bug


ps. to clarify- it was mastectomy day in the OR. he was not just "playing"... at least that's what he told me....


pps. happy birthday to kerrianne!!


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