eating at restaurants brings me joy

NANA!!

congrats to you- nana of three grandbabies!
i love that i'm congratulating you and not BB who did all the work.
but that letter will come tomorrow once i have see the little guy and taken 50 bajillion pics of him.
so for today-- congrats again!

aren't new babies just magical?
i bet you're so jealous that later today i get to go to the hospital and love on him.
[sorry to rub it in]
but don't worry, once you guys return from egypt you'll fly out here lickety-split and get your nana-loving on.
so don't go and get yourself blown up while you're over there.
[i really mean that!]



in other news...

 @ texas roadhouse. katers ate about 4 rolls and we called it good and 

didn't order her a meal. we're great parents like that.

we miss you and we miss going out to eat!
that sounds horrible i know, like all you're good for is paying at the restaurant [couldn't be less true].
but it's so nice that you spoil us when you're here and then you leave and we go back to eating like college kids and we cry.
ok, no one cried but i have had one hell of a time getting back into the cooking mode.
meals this week consisted of sandwiches, cereal and a crockpot dinner that totally didn't turn out.

at least it's my birthday weekend and jank is taking me out.
yeeeeeaaaaah for birthdays!!


so thanks for birthing me so i can go out to eat.
[that just sounds weird. i'm off my game today]


ps. every time we get into the car miss kate says 'nana? nana?' she's always disappointed when we pull up to the grocery store and not your hotel.


.

sometimes i write letters to myself

dear kayla-

you need a pep talk.

today was rough.
your kid has croup.
she woke up a lot last night and didn't nap today.
she sounds like a 50 yr old smoker.
she barks like a seal.

and she gave the sickness to you.
your throat is on fire.
you're tired.
you're not hungry.

warm weather seems eons away.
you want to go on walks outside and watch miss kate feed the ducks.
you want to drive with the windows down.
february seems too long [ironically it's the shortest month]

and for the last week you've had thoughts swirling in your head.
thoughts about life, love, faith, motherhood.
you can't put these thoughts into coherent sentences so they remain stuck in your head.
and this makes you insane.


ok, so what's the plan?
how do you handle this?
you've been here before and you will be in this overwhelming place again.


plan: you focus on the good

you cherish the moments [hours] you spend cuddling and soothing your precious daughter.
she needs you more than normal right now.
she's hurting and isn't sleeping well.
she needs you to rock her and stroke her face and tell her you love her.
she needs the comfort of your mama arms.
you are one of the only people that can calm her fears so focus on that instead of all the sleep you're missing.

that elmo has special soothing powers also

the sun shined bright today.

you opened all the blinds and let the light in.

it made you happy to see the bright blue sky.

never mind the whipping wind, just focus on the heat from the sun.

view from our parking lot

katers is getting better.

this sickness isn't that bad and will pass quickly.

she will go back to napping well and sleeping through the night- i promise.

today she wore her bright pink bird shirt and spent all day pointing at her chest saying 'tweet tweet'

that's awesome.

enjoy her.

thanks bb for the shirt!

you've got jank.
remember how he likes you more than burgers and french fries?
remember how he told you last night that he loves you just the way you are?
even when you protested and told him he would be better off with someone prettier, sweeter, more patient... he insisted that he would rather be with you.
that's incredible and don't disregard the magic you two have.

date night last friday- salt city burger co.

see? you feel better already!

now apologize to all your friends for putting them through this long post

[sorry everyone]

and put some good music on and file your taxes like you said you would.

.

sunshine= giddy and random kayla

mom-

this is what was happening in my car today while i talked to you:

that's kate in case you didn't recognize her-

normally she's crying (not peacefully sleeping) when she's in the car so that's probably why you don't recognize her.

doesn't that position look painful?

don't worry, i left her like that.

i wasn't about to wake a sleeping toddler-

i figured if she couldn't breathe, she'd wake up.

(now that's some great logic isn't it??)

this is what i did after i hung up with you but before i picked up liz from bb's store.

because i know you are just dying to know how i waste 30 minutes.

why yes, those are beautiful. 

thanks for noticing.

they're flash cards that you can color.

courtesy of an app i downloaded for kate but use (frequently) when i'm bored.

i'm such a great artist.

and when i get bored of coloring...

i try styling my hair different ways.

option 1:

option 2:

i went with option 1.

i bet you agree.

ok, well that's enough randomness for one day.

enjoy maui!

i'm so glad you and dad get to spend 2 weeks just relaxing.

(soooooo jealous)

send pics everyday so i can be happy for you and sad for all of us stuck on the mainland.

drink a lavaflow for all of us.

ok, now i'm just depressed.

love you

.

l'oreal natural #5

to my dear friend and hair stylist for the last 6 years:

you hate me.
it's ok.
you have just cause.
i cancelled my appointment with you and didn't have the guts to tell you to your face.
i just up and called the salon and cancelled.
i suck.

in my defense....
i am trimming (get it trimming?? i'm so clever) back our budget.
and that includes hair.
no more coloring and cutting at the salon.
it has nothing to do with you- you're great!
remember my awesome victoria beckham knockoff with purple?
that was my fav.

so i have to say goodbye for awhile.
i will be dying my hair at home.
from a box.
like you told me NEVER to do.
again, sorry.

please don't hate.
i'll see you soon.
(like THE DAY AFTER jancer graduates and lands a job)

ps. these pics are proof that the at-home coloring can turn out ok... at least i thought so.

pps. this is the first day in weeks i haven't worn my hair in a pony. and the hair on my neck is already bugging me.



.

j'taime

madame behlow-

this letter is requiring me to reach waaaaaay back in my memories.

you were one of my favorite high school teachers. probably because you taught french and not english or history. most people would have listed math instead of history but i enjoyed math. or more correctly i had a teenage relationship with math- full of love and hate and misunderstanding. but french was an elective and i elected to not ditch your class due to it's laissez-faire-ness.

you taught us about pop culture in france and let us build 3D puzzles of french monuments for credit. you let me choose 'Olive Jardin' as my french name even though it meant 'olive garden'. and you introduced me to "notre-dame de paris". an A-MAZ-ING french musical that i am listening to right now. 10 years later and i'm still captivated by the songs.

you instilled in me a love for all things french. who would've thought i learned anything at all in high school except how to not be cool? (i was really good at that) but i listened to you and learned a little french along the way. came in handy when i had to order chicken nuggets at a macdo in paris.

moi, aaron et bb dans paris

to see the world

to my love:

it's just starting to rain. good timing.

another family walk. how i love them.

i kept telling you we were going to get lost but true to your word, you got us home before the rain started. with thunder rolling in the distance and kate munching on kix, you and i discussed triple a's, chest tubes, family, finances (gag) and traveling. the last topic was my favorite.

i've been lucky enough in my short 27 years to have been a few places. don't know if i have a favorite. they have all been great experiences. although the disgusting food and the lack your company puts the 2 weeks i spent in china at the bottom of the list. but i did climb the great wall.... maybe it's more the middle of the list. like i said, all great.

as we walked and you studied, i thought about the places i've been and the places i still want to go. you promised we will get to them all.... i think i'll hold you to that. how about some ideas to tuck away for later in life? (when you're done with school and we have a life again)

a convertible road trip through the florida keys

eating beignets at cafe du monde in new orleans

see central park, and all of NYC for that matter

spend a week in DC soaking up our history

and so many more....

sometimes i become obsessive with the things i want. a yard, a bigger vehicle, travels, to never wear the same thing twice... i blame it on the media. just kidding. it's my own fault. i don't often stop and appreciate the things i have and it's quite a bad habit. i've been trying lately to be more like you and to recognize all my good fortune. it's made me a happier person.

so... a few minutes ago i tucked katers into her crib for her afternoon nap (i also tucked you into our bed for your afternoon nap- you really are just a big kid) and i took some time to go through our photos and remember all the amazing things i've done and seen. thanks for all the adventures and here's to the many travels ahead. love your guts.

one of my favorite adventures is this one:

bb and i rode ostriches in south africa

amazingly terrifying experience- loved it

wouldn't do it again

let the summer begin

dearest ponytail,

it has been far too long my friend. maybe 18 months, maybe longer. i just scanned thru my pics to see when the last documented ponytail event occurred and i stopped looking when i got to the summer of '08. lots of pigtails (apparently i like looking twelve) but no ponytail.

so we shall call today momentous.

there go my dramatics again.

today was almost 100 degrees and windy. a day that would normally cause me to regret even attempting to do my hair. but today i just slathered some goop into it, shoved about 7 bobby pins in and voila! instant awesomeness.

at least i thought so. you all can judge for yourselves:

a perfect day w/ accompanying perfect hairdo to take the babies (Liz and Kate) to the pool. and subsequently get ticked at all the parents who don't watch their children as they attempt to drown. even big jank got irritated, which NEVER happens. he even told a kid to quit punching others. i choked back a smile... i'm finally starting to rub off on him. mwaaaa ha ha